The Greatest Natural Lubricant

Content Warning: abuse of anatomy

Ah hah! You thought you were going find this book to be salacious. Well, you are wrong! Hahahaha! If you are interested in applied biology, then continue reading.

The greatest natural lubricant is synovial fluid. It is found within synovial joints. Essentially, any creature with an intact, living skeletal structure. Because bones and joints flex and bend for a lifetime, synovial fluid is by far the best lubricant for any physical apparatus with multiple moving parts.

Don’t you dare refer to this fluid as grease or wax! It is entirely too precious to be labelled in such a crass manner. Respect this medicinal work for what it is! It is a biological engineering marvel! The uses of this egg-like substance are many.

You can apply it to any tooth-and-gear mechanism, and it will turn over and over again, without failure! Need to ensure a slick, smooth surface, but can’t afford the magical components? Have no worry!

Extracting synovial fluid is a remarkably easy process. Strap your patient down onto the table. Restrain the arms and limbs and commence your work. Enclosed in this book is the human anatomy, along with the various points to puncture and collect.

Afterwards, your patient will not be able to use any of his or her limbs. But, that’s not your problem now, is it?

After taking a few moments to read the scribble that barely passes as signature, the author of this book is, Dr. Morioka. Following it is a postscript message, “Helzbelt’s best War Zone chirurgeon.”

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